Gwen's Big Girl Room

Welcome to Gwen's new room!

I used to play with that antique desk too :)

Bert built some cool toy storage bins with chalkboard fronts. Someday we will put toys in them. :)

(Thanks again for sending these our way Jill!)

This is where we do reading time before nap time or bed time.
(I got this chair from World Market for my own bedroom last year but it's just too big,
so I'm really pleased to have an even better use for it in Gwen's room.
It seems to match the whimsical kid mood too.)

She is SO big these days!

Still to come: carpet on these treacherous stairs!
Bert got all the squeaks out of them by tightening with tons of extra screws
and using a thin saw inside certain edges.
What a HUGE difference to not have squeaky stairs anymore!

This was the same day I took the bedroom pics last week, she had arranged her animals into a "parade." 

Here's what we/Bert did upstairs to transform Gwen's room:

• relocated home office to downstairs guest room
• removed yucky carpeting and staples, discovered neat wood floors and applied simple wax coating
• painted trim, walls, stair railings, closet doors etc
• hung darkening roller blinds (IKEA) and homemade fabric curtains
• built a bed, loosely based on these plans, but we wanted a rounded headboard
• two new ceiling light fixtures
• dresser from craigslist, sanded and painted
• bench seat made from wood, bench cushion (using this plan)
• ordered area rug from target.com
• basket for stuffed animals from IKEA, dresser lamp re-purposed from my college days
• de-squeaked stairs
• added railing in the closet for hanging dresses
• And if you're interested in what brainstorming looked like, here was my pinterest board

Gwen seems to be fully adjusted to her new room and likes to show it to people who come to visit.  Sleeping in the big girl bed went really well.  She fell out a few times the first week, but since it's so low to the ground she was able to get back in.  We haven't filled the room with toys and books yet because she still prefers playing downstairs in our main living room areas, and she has a history of book damage when she's feeling naughty.  Overall, we're loving the new space for Gwen!

Limitations

A few more thoughts on this pregnancy keep bugging me to be blogged.  Mostly for way of actual update and cataloging what this experience has been like down the road.  I've already mentioned the nausea factor that dominated the first 20 or so weeks, but then the fires of Mordor, aka heartburn, started up.  And the hip pain when my leg continuously slipped out of place.  That was pretty much the second trimester, until yoga started, which helped hip pain tremendously.

This third trimester, so far, has been all about contractions.  At first I thought they were just Braxton Hicks, the normal type that goes away when you drink enough water and rest.  Those are just an exercising of the uterus getting ready for the marathon that is labor.  At my 27 week appointment my midwife mentioned that they're nothing to worry about unless I'm having more than 6 an hour.  And less than a week later hard contractions came rolling in every 15 minutes, and then every 10 minutes.  I tried to take a nap and they woke me up.  I was guzzling water and taking the prescribed bath and they still rolled on.  It was unnerving. My midwife recommended "coming in" which meant a late Sunday night trip to the hospital to check things out and make sure that this wasn't real labor starting.  Thankfully there was no change in my cervix from all those contractions, so preterm labor wasn't officially starting and baby was safe for now.

In the past 4 weeks I've been stuck somewhere between Braxton hicks and hard contractions that smack of preterm labor, which has been stressful.  Contractions were still coming mostly in afternoons and evenings, and often would be close together and quite intense.  The contractions problem is partly due to stress itself.  It turns out that remodeling a room for Gwen and getting her moved into it were making me a little crazy.  Labor Day weekend hit and all of a sudden it was time to stop playing summer and start preparing for baby. My brain and emotions didn't take the switch very well.  The to-do list was endless and time was short.

We've spent the last two weeks making serious adjustments after getting a firm command from my midwife to "do less" and "ask for help."  Thankfully it seems to be helping.  I had to let go of the task list mindset and just be flexible about when the room would get done.  Bert has been a superhero about absorbing more of the kitchen tasks that seem to amp up my contractions, and tasks everywhere else in the house too.  He is amazing.  My mom has been spending a day with Gwen most weeks of the month.  Gwen and I have cut back on daily outings.  And I am generally making myself sit down and rest or take a nap more than I was letting myself before.  It's been a lesson in learning, and ACCEPTING, the limitations of my body and having respect for those instead of just disregarding them.  That is hard to do when a cute little girl just wants you to "hold me up Mommy."

So where do we go from here?  I'm still having a few evenings each week of intense contractions but thankfully they stop when I sleep for the night.  My mental goal is to keep contractions at bay for the next month, and keep resting.  Drinking lots of water and taking my vitamins.  No walks just for fun in the fall air.  No moving furniture or boxes.  Limited cooking and dishes.  No standing for long periods of time.  We want this precious baby to be FULL TERM and super healthy.  However, once we make it 36-37 weeks I'm totally going for a walk!  Hopefully the sidewalks won't be icy in mid-November.

On the spiritual side of things, it's been a real challenge to humbly accept the path God's chosen for this pregnancy.  It's been hard to be sick for so long and physically out of control of my body, not to mention having my activity choices potentially impact the health of my son. God has been gracious at a few different times to convict me of my complaining heart.  My main weapon for joy in this situation is thankfulness.  I still have SO MUCH to be thankful for.  I know this, but God's been doing a work in my heart through praying for thankfulness lately.  He's graciously breaking through my self-focused attitude and helped me see the eternal value of the life I'm carrying.  He's reminding me that of course it's hard work to BRING A NEW PERSON INTO THE WORLD.  This is an important job and it's an honor to get to do it.

This week Bert and I have officially agreed about the baby's name, and I've started to be able to pray for him by name.  This has been such a sweet joy.  I accidentally started crying during yoga about how special it is to pray the Numbers 6 prayer for him by name, as it's a song I sing over Gwen daily.  Those are the moments of thankfulness that make the contractions anxiety no big deal.  My God is big and powerful, and surely he will give me the wisdom and strength I need to accept my limitations as I carry this baby.  I just need to keep asking for it.

Pregnancy Update

I've spent many, many days lately with the nagging thought of, "you should write a blog today."  And then resisting.  Well, here goes nothing!  I'm deciding to start with a pregnancy update because that's at least a concrete idea that I will appreciate looking back on someday.

Here we are at 30 weeks.  30 weeks!  This is the milestone I've dreamed of for many months.  Where I finally give myself permission to think differently about the near future. This is happening. A son. On the way. What?!

...desperately trying to remember how to write... about anything... feeling very rusty...

I guess I'll start at the beginning.

It was the first week of April when the second line appeared on the pregnancy test.  The first trimester filled with clinging to promises of God that he would carry me through whatever was coming with this baby.  I was still so raw and missing the others that my fears ranged from healing from another traumatic D&C, surviving another 3+ months of weakness and nausea, seeing another lifeless body on ultrasound, and opening my heart to another life with love and welcome.  The words that I still remember now from that season of daily fighting for faith in God's goodness are: "Fear not I am with you."  A phrase which is ALL OVER the Bible, but also anchors the truth-smackdown in the hymn "How Firm a Foundation."  There were other words of life and hope that God used to encourage me too, but those are the ones on the chalkboard over my mantle, and the ones I can't seem to forget in hindsight.

Then the nausea.  For months. Such a pleasant word for such a miserable state. There are so many thoughts here since I've spent so much time either prepping, resisting, or recovering from nasty stuff going the wrong way through my esophagus. But I will spare you those today. I will just say that I still rejoice that I haven't thrown up since 21 weeks, mid-July. Hallelujah. (Still can't quite shake the horribleness of taco salad and lemonade on their way out for the second time that summer. Motherhood is so glamorous.)  

Another highlight to mention from this pregnancy was starting prenatal yoga at 25 weeks and suddenly feeling much less back pain, rib pain, digestive pain, etc. The physical effects of yoga have been sublime.  The actual yoga is sometimes really difficult because I don't believe the philosophy they wholeheartedly preach (you have a goddess within you, let your inner light shine from your third eye center, you are inherently good etc).  But sometimes I'll catch a yoga class that is not so preachy and those are really nice classes.  Plus, a lot of people are taking that philosophy as truth, and that could be me if God hadn't yet given me the grace of the Bible and the hope of Jesus only.  I need to have compassion for the people who are taking yoga as truth, and maybe that will even mean sharing my faith to a yoga mate. God, give me the grace to do that!

Back to baby... it's a boy.  We are around 90% sure of the first name (which will be shared at birth).  There has been much, much, much deliberation on names.  I had expected to find out gender at 20 weeks, promptly choose a name, bond perfectly and beautifully with my child while still in my womb, and call the baby by name as a family from then on.  Oh, expectations!  How wrong you can be. I'm a little more settled for the bonding-at-first-sight plan these days, and embracing that I have much to learn about being a boy's mom. (AH!)  It also can't go unsaid that I am super grateful to have a boy and feel much overwhelming grace at another chance to parent a son after losing Joey and Ezra. It feels very beautifully redemptive.

I'll close for now, though there are many more thoughts.  My hope is that this blog continues to be a creative outlet for me (writing skills, what!?), a snapshot of our family, and perhaps an encouragement to others. When people see my life, I hope they see that God really is good.  He really is faithful.  His words really do have power in our lives to give us hope and a future.  And a few chapters of my story will hopefully illustrate that.  

Here are some pregnancy photos, just for the record (and the visual people):

Sick, sick, sick
and happy about SPRING!

Sick and Tired

It's not that she snuggles all the time, it's that every time she does someone grabs a camera because it's so special!

An Olive Garden craving.

On the new annual "sunset walk."

Overnight at St Paul Hotel for 6th anniversary

March 2013 Photos

Or should we title this post "Surviving A Long Winter With Toddler?"

That seems more accurate.  Here goes nothing...

Experimenting with watercolors

Gwen loves Auntie Dee

At a birthday party for Phil

This picture raises my heart rate a bit

Our landscape (for six months!)

Effective technique for snow-eating

Happy times

Assisting "Baby Arleigh" in many indoor stroller rides

Starting to refuse looking at the camera (also pictured, the ever popular play-food picnic)

Praise the Lord for play-dough! (The thing to do when nothing sounds fun)

Window stickers with Yia Yia

A special lunch with Papou in between trips

I was studying the Old Testament Tabernacle and tried to recreate it
(Don't look too close at the brazen altar, it's off centered. Oops)

When the Word comes alive...

New territory: booster seats

One day this became a strategy for vacuuming 

Dance. Parties.

Coffee and Nokomis walk with our friends

Playing with Willa in the basement construction zone at Hincks

Pet Store!  This was a highly effective place to get out the house with Gwen.
Buy some cat food, discuss many creepy rodents/reptiles, look at fish and we're good to go!

That was fun!

Just keeping it real.

Cousins!

Zoo time with our friends Will and Auggie

Helping Bert cut some wood

Just reading her Bible after nap

MN Zoo

Trying something new... The second night she rolled off and UNDER the crib.  I went in when she was crying and I couldn't find her because she was under the bed, back against the wall.
And that's when we decided on adding a bed rail.  The life of a parent is all trial and error right?

 

Lovely ladies in Easter dresses

Reading with "Aunt Bef"

Uncle Barry

The types of things that happen when Daddy comes home from work

This was a fun date night!

Serious toddler accomplishment

Love this face

Dancing together

Tickling legs

Visiting Jami and Drew in Duluth for a day.
It was such a privilege to see where Jami works 

Out to lunch

The boys were busy breaking the ice by throwing huge rocks,
and we were enjoying the feeling of sun on our skin!