Winter Therapy

I recently discovered pictures my mom took at (or around) Bert's birthday party last September.  I decided winter is a good time to review them.  Or bask in them.  Remember when it was so warm in September?  Remember when the inside of your nose didn't just hurt everyday because of the dryness, or your knuckles didn't bleed unprovoked?  Well, I do.  And these help me!  Hope you enjoy them...

Our little people were more compact then

Look at all those green and growing things... plants!  

Can you spy my garden clogs?  Or clown shoes as someone likes to call them

Ladder golf with Grandma

Beth, you look glam in this one, and Gwen looks very alert in the background

Here I am, making sure I am available to help when Gwen decides she wants to be done with this activity :)

The birthday song...

Love this thoughtful moment of Gwen's with her hands clasped.  It was probably only a split-second long, but it existed

The excited hands

Ivy teasing Grandpa

A happy bunch!

And subzero temperatures were the farthest thing from their minds.  Glorious!

Just for the record it's 0 degrees right now.  The high today is 1 degree.

And the temperature "feels like" -13 with windchill factored in.

As Rick said on Sunday, spring ALWAYS follows winter.
Hallelujah!  This too shall pass.  Eventually.

Still Love It

source

"Beyond the barricade is there a world you long to see?"

But really.  Is there?

Do You Hear the People Sing? aka Why I Love Les Mis

While watching Les Mis on Friday night, I thought my chest might burst from emotion.  I know it's not amazing like that for everyone.  Almost three hours is long time to listen to people sing if you are like my husband.  Not so for me, however.  I say, if you can, see it on the big screen!  Here are some of my thoughts on the matter:

(I don't think these are spoilers, but be warned that I do reference different plot points.)

• We are all criminals like Val Jean.  We have all broken God's rules in some way, even if it's a rule we wish didn't exist.  Our souls do answer to the One who made us when we die.  And we are all guilty.  At the film's beginning Val Jean is a gruesome visual of the torment and never-ending sentence of sin.  There is no escape for him, and he visibly wrestles with this identity from the film's start to finish.  I get that in my own struggle with my rebellious and selfish heart.  It is serious for him, and we have a much more serious condition than we think most of the time.  Sin is real.  Black-teeth real.  It rots the human heart in a way that can only be cleaned by One.
• Forgiveness is the first turning point for Val Jean.  He fights his pride to accept forgiveness, which you can feel in the movie.  He is angry.  Why would someone be gracious to him?  And yet he is humbled and accepts it.  He is transformed from an angry man into one that learns to love others more than himself.  He sacrifices and helps, even when it comes at great cost to himself.  We see such a huge change in his character visually (no more black teeth).  It illustrates what's going on in his heart.
• The story holds grief and loss for almost every character in some way.  They are all longing for someone or something out of reach: innocence, a child, justice, love, friends who've died.  I cried their tears with them, because those feelings are very real to me.  
• "Do You Hear the People Sing" makes me want to go to heaven!  The singing is going to be so good in heaven and it will express what needs to be expressed!  A place to belong.  Voices united.  No more injustice and pain.  Why does this simple song say all of those things?  I don't know.  But it does.  And I can't stop being comforted by it.  We were made with voices for a reason.  There is One who is worthy of being praised with them.  All together, at once, to a beautiful song.  Anything that points me to this reality is worth listening to!  
• Javier can't accept grace.  He believes he is doing God's work.  He is ruled by his pride which tells him he can't live in a world where he forgives Val Jean.  (And where he forgives himself for failure.)  "A world that cannot hold."  It's heartbreaking, yet it is exactly how most of us live.  We think we are living a good life and being a good person, and we don't want to accept that those terms are not acceptable to God.  We need to live a perfect life.  We are already guilty, and our only hope is to receive the perfect life of Jesus in our place, and to believe our sins were already punished on his cross.  It's hard to be humble and receive it, but it's literally our only hope.  So do we refuse like Javier, or bend a knee like Val Jean?  Both men are fallen in themselves.  This is real life folks.  Can we call this allegory?  Can we relish the moments of these two characters wrestling with each other?
• "I Dreamed a Dream" is pretty much my anthem right now.  I know I will get over it, but right now it says what I feel and I need to hear it multiple times a day.  Is there a song that better grieves a broken heart and shows that there's still a point in hoping?  Grief and hope; my best friends lately.  My heart groans and heals every time I listen to Fantine saying the line: But there are dreams that cannot be, And there are storms we cannot weather
• Don't you love how Cosette and Marius make references to dreams in their songs?  It's honoring Fantine, and they don't even know it.  Very sweet.
• "Bring Him Home" aches with a selfless love.  How often do people sing about that kind of love?  It's so unique and pure.  I love how Val Jean pleads with God to save Marius because he acknowledges that decisions of life and death fall under God's authority.  Even though he sees God as the authority, he pleads.  And God honors his request.  It's really beautiful and I am inspired.
• The church scene at the end.  Incredible.  Val Jean is so close to the end of his suffering.  Still tied to earth by love for Cosette, but more tied to heaven by love for God.  Looking at the story of his life from the last chapter.  You are so exhausted along with Val Jean by this point, and more than ever you want relief for him.  Then they sing and your chest explodes.  Ahhhhhh!  This movie wakes up my soul and makes me feel things about the way I was made.  Can you see how dramatic I am being about it?  Oh boy.  Sorry.  Can't stop.
• I remember my younger self thinking that people in movies and musicals were too dramatic, but I am starting to realize that those dramatic parts of us come alive when we experience great pain.  And it's a good thing to express it, or see it expressed.  It makes the load easier to bear when you are sharing it, even if just with a character on the screen. I wonder how old I will be when I really start liking opera if this keeps up.

Are there other movies that refer to eternal themes like this one?  I can only think of To End All Wars and Narnia.  Leave me a comment if you think of others. :)

P.S. I saw the doctor today for a surgery follow-up and he was pleased with how my body is healing.  He told me to take prenatal vitamins to resupply iron and gave me a clean bill of health.  That felt pretty amazing.  Thanks again for prayers for physical recovery and healing.  What a blessing it is to be healthy again.

A Promise that Groans With You

There's a way to quote Romans 8:28 as a promise, 

a promise that groans along with you in the pain involved.  

There's also a way to quote Romans 8:28 as a dismissal, 

a way of saying, "Get over it." 

The first is of the Spirit, the second of the flesh.

-Russell Moore (Adopted for Life, page 102)

And we know that in all things God works 

for the good of those who love him, 

who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

Clinging to the promise and groaning with the pain involved...

Christmas and the Week After Photos

Christmas Eve: dinner at Anjuli and Ben's

Christmas Day: day at Keith and Lori's, evening at Aunt Jane's

Gwen is finally participating in cousin hugs!

Aunt Anji showing Gwen one of her nutcrackers

The girls got a hold of someone's phone.  I suspect Grandma.

So pretty

In her Christmas dress!

When you give a kid an ipad...

Annika and Willa

Gwen and the trampoline was a sight to behold. 

Matching Jamas!

We spent an afternoon playing at Jill's house

I made a kitchen for Gwen out of a vacuum box with an inset tupperware sink.
She likes to press the buttons on the stove with emphatic beeps.  This will work for now :)

We got up quite early to hit the road for our Christmas gathering at Dee and Barry's.
Note Gwen's beloved monkey and kitty in hand 

Can't wait to be done with these dark mornings!

YiaYia and Gwen having way too much fun :)

Love this place

Gwen's favorite dance move. I don't understand it either.

Gwen got to be in the kid huddle reading the Christmas story before presents

We played pictionary! 

Kaian and his shepherd

Jessie!

My best attempt at hospital humor. I was showing off my huge IV,
 just like the girls in Bethel hallways with new engagement rings.
This thing definitely helped save my life though. Respect!

Where it all went down.  My dad brought me a flower and came to visit after I woke up.

Wheelchairs are wonderful when you need them to get to the car.
This is my picture to say, "I survived and it was real."

December Photos

December 2012 began as a happy, albeit nauseous, month, and finished as a sad, painful month.  However, we had many happy memories with family, friends, new toys, and more along the way.  I definitely don't want to miss celebrating those happy times.  Also, I finally joined the smartphone ranks.  So, please pardon me as I figure out how to adjust my bogging to my new technology and now abundant photos.

Here are about a million visuals:

Gwen's winter-clothing shape is delightfully tubby.  Almost Oompa-Loompa.
We loved getting amazing hand-me-downs for winter gear,
but sometimes I have to do some deep breaths from all that pink.

Chillin with Ivy (this was just after they stopped dancing)

At the library

You can imagine the giggles going on here

At target (See! I've never before-smart-phone taken a picture inside target! Revolutionary.)

Morning milk on the couch

Gwen pointed to these two and said, "mom-mom and da-da"
Beth said that's good in the child development realm, but I just laughed really hard.

Jill's inspiring art wall that makes me want to read a poem or something romantic

Snow storm

Wearing special new shoes

So much personality

The girls at the piano

Elliot and Leah at our Kim Chi lesson

We made Kim Chi and learned a lot about gut health

Bert texted me this picture with the caption, "Godzilla!"

Special seasonal foods

A new outfit from Grandma, so cute

Play dough with Daddy

Discovering paint with water 

Weathering the challenge of a split-second mood switch

Playing with our old electronics

It's genetic. We like small spaces

All decorated up

Bert built an awesome stove to go inside his new canvas tent for winter camping.
And yes, he built the stove out of a mailbox.  Love that creativity!

Visiting Aunt Beth at her school

My beloved small group ladies at Wise Women, and our table that took 3rd in the decorating contest. Score!

A last, special visit with BB.  Miss you girl!

Opening presents on the 18th with my family, since we couldn't be bringing them to California with us. Gwen didn't mind opening presents early.  She was very mature about the sacrifice of tradition.

Getting a feel for how exponentially our messes would increase after Christmas toys enter the scene

"Cheers!" with Aunt Beth

Letting Gwen play downstairs ALONE. For the first time!

Driving home from a doctor's appointment

Gwen is developing a passion for serving tea

Another new passion in Gwen's life is bouncy castles!  Like this one at Lori's work party

Gwen opted for both of her hands to be painted, rather than her face

We had to keep reminding both girls not to get in the pool with the duckies

One night I couldn't find Bert anywhere in the house.
Then I looked out the backdoor only to see he had set up his tent and was playing outside!

Sisters and stinker-face

Breakfast at OPH with Shay is good for the soul

We went to a showing of White Christmas at our favorite local theater

Oakley rocked the lion cut

Got to go out for a special lunch, just us

Caught Gwen giving her reindeer craft mulitple, "high fives!"