Naming Simon

Everyone has their own preferences for baby naming.  Exploring baby names is super fascinating to me, so I thought I would share how we came up with the name Simon Keith for our sweet boy.  Boy names are much more difficult than girl names, in my opinion, because it seems like there are less options. You can't get away with random flower names or just pretty sounding names And you want it to be something that is masculine enough to put on a business card someday, just in case he wants to be a business man.  

Here was our criteria (no judgement to other mindsets!):

-Easy to spell correctly upon hearing

-Obviously a boy name

-Has to exist in history, not made up

-Not in the top 100 of the social security website

-Not a long name with a short nickname, but just one name

We started assembling "the list" last summer.  We had a few favorite ideas starting out but none of them seemed to make the final cuts because they were all too popular.  I emptied the library shelf of baby naming books and took them to the lake the day after our gender-determining ultrasound.  We read three of them cover to cover, boy names only of course.  Over time we each chose our favorites and narrowed down our list through many debates.

I remember being on the dock at Dee and Barry's when I first came across Simon.  Beth was sitting with me and I asked her how many Simon's she knew in her years of preschool and kindergarten teaching.  She had only ever known one and he was a very cool and funny kid. 

I loved a few things about the name immediately.  It met all our criteria, and it is derived from the Hebrew name Simeon which means "listener" or "he listens."  We hope that he grows into his name and has a soft heart to listen to God and other people.  I loved that it was classic and fresh.  It was also ranked at 255 so it was likely that there wouldn't be 3 other Simons in his class at school.  It was a winner!  Although, it took about three months for Bert and I to officially agree on it.  We had a few other favorites, which I'm not going to disclose yet, just in case.

The middle name Keith is in honor of Bert's dad Keith, and it's also his middle name (Daniel Keith).  I love it as a name and how it sounds with Simon. It's meaning has to do with woods, forest, and battleground.  Since Bert loves working with wood and being in the forest, it seems like a good fit there too.

Yay for Simon Keith!

Simon's Birth Story

I awoke at 4:15 am on my due date (12/4/13) with serious contractions coming 7 minutes apart.  I could tell these were more authentic than the random contractions I'd been experiencing the week prior. I started to get nervous about how fast labor might happen since I'd heard from many people that it goes faster the second time.  I envisioned having a baby in my arms by lunch time. Unfortunately, after a few hours contractions had slowed to every 10 minutes instead of getting closer together.  Then a few hours after that they were every 15 minutes, though still very intense when they occurred.  My parents came over to help care for Gwen as I labored, and Bert worked from home on his computer.  I was scurrying around the house packing hospital bags, Gwen's bag, rearranging furniture in our room to accommodate our old recliner and cleaning up any clutter in my path.  After I felt organized enough, I finally laid down to try and rest. I knew that labor would take all my strength and I needed to ration it carefully.

My memories pick back up that evening when I was feeling bummed that things still weren't moving quickly, but tired since I continued to have hard contractions every 10-15 minutes.  It was snowing heavily outside.  My mother in law came and got Gwen for the night so we could focus on labor.  I texted a few friends to ask for prayer that things would continue progressing and decided to try walking on the treadmill.  That did the trick!  My contractions got so intense when I was walking that I had to step to the side and breathe to get through each one.  At this point I had to start to make low humming noises while breathing, which is a pretty clear indicator of labor progressing.  I made myself go for about 30 minutes on the treadmill and went upstairs to eat a bowl of cereal. Contractions had increased to every 3-5 minutes. On my second bite of cheerios I stood up sharply and announced to Bert that it's time to leave for the hospital, now!  The pressure was moving lower and the pain was changing and I did not want to have a baby in the car!  I checked in with the midwife on call and we were on our way.

The ride to the hospital was extremely uncomfortable, and the roads were icy as it continued to snow.  It felt like I shouldn't even be sitting down since the baby's head was so low.  Thankfully we made it to St Joes, parked in the Emergency Room lot, and got taken up to the maternity floor asap.  I was feeling pretty good in between contractions, but during them I had to focus completely to get through.  My parents and our doula, Diedra, arrived soon after us.  I had asked my mom to be in the room with me for the birth, and Dad camped out in the waiting room.  Diedra started taking pictures which was such a sweet surprise since they always enhance memories for me and I didn't know she was planning to do that.  She also took notes on what happened at different times - another great surprise.  (Especially since I'm finally writing this out two months later.)



My contractions continued to be really intense but seemed to be spacing out. During the minutes in between contractions I felt simultaneously impatient for things to progress and thankful for a rest from the pain.  We walked the halls to keep things moving. I found lots of relief in doing low squats as I had practiced in yoga.  It was fun to have Diedra and my mom there to chat and be excited with.  Bert read me scripture to give me something to think about and to help calm my fears.  We spent a lot of time in Psalm 33 and I was meditating on verse 4 which said that "all his work is done in faithfulness." I kept telling myself that God was being faithful even in this crazy and beautiful process of childbirth.  And he was.  I was fighting to believe that truth and asking for peace to receive whatever was coming for this birth experience.

After I ran out of walking strength and ability, I spent time laboring in my hospital room.  Being on my hands and knees was necessary.  Our midwife, Kathleen, challenged me to take three contractions on the toilet which helps your hips open.  It was the last thing I wanted to do.  In fact I think I told her,"no way." But when she told me that would help things move along, I decided to just do it.  I did a lot of soul searching during those minutes in the bathroom.  The door was cracked so I could hear my mom, Diedra and Bert talking, but I felt alone with my thoughts and fears.  I was really afraid of the pushing phase, blood loss, tearing, recovery, all of it.  Gwen's birth was really scary for me at the end and I was afraid of those things happening again.  I was also afraid of the pain.  Because I'd done this before I knew how and why things might hurt.  I had to prayerfully admit these fears and ask God for strength.  I kept telling myself that "it's just pain."  Pain does weird things to my brain, but in the end it just hurts.  A person can certainly survive it.  I kept thinking "if I can do this pregnancy then I can do this birth!"  The pregnancy was much longer and harder than a few more hours of contractions and pushing out a baby.

After moving back into the room, I spent a few minutes admitting my fears to Bert and Diedra and asking them to pray for me.  I remember being really disappointed that things weren't moving quickly as I was expecting them to, and asking them to also pray for patience to withstand the pain for longer than I hoped for.

I was also asking Bert to distract me by telling me specific memories from our Mexico vacation last year.  Anything to keep my brain busy other than panicking about pain.  We discussed fruity drinks by the pool, fountains, palm trees, and the sound of feet squeaking through sand.  He made me laugh when he said that I was "a Superwoman ...but not a warrior mama."  :)  They call you Warrior Mamas all the time at yoga class and it's funny to me so this made me laugh in the moment.  He also called me "president of the tough club" which is another joke because we use the "tough club" to try and get Gwen to stop crying.



At 9:45 my midwife checked me and I had progressed from a 4 to a 6 in a little less than two hours.  I was hoping for a water birth and she said it would be ok for me to get in the tub at this point if I wanted to.  I did!  I remember sitting on the exercise ball and leaning forward onto Bert's lap while waiting for the tub to fill up.  That was one of my more comfortable positions.

We walked down the hall and got in the tub.  The warm water was so helpful in staying relaxed.  I moved around a lot to get my body in the right position. After all that yoga practice, moving felt good and I had ideas about what "hip-openers" would look like to help this baby get out.  Diedra was really encouraging during each contraction saying "you got this!" and "you know just what to do" and "you're doing great" and reminding me to keep my legs wide and relax my legs etc.  She was also keeping me really well hydrated, even though I didn't want to drink anything.  She is very convincing.  I felt really nauseous and was clinging to the blue puking bag because I didn't know when things would come up.  I was sure they would, but they never actually did.  Bert was playing me music on my phone softly almost the whole time but after awhile I didn't like any of the songs playing and think I just asked him to turn it off.



I got out of the tub once to empty my bladder and my whole body started shaking, which made me think I was going through transition.  Kathleen told me I could start pushing whenever I felt the urge to and she didn't need to check me unless I wanted her to.  I decided to ask her to check me anyway because I was so nervous about pushing and it would help to have a clear green light of 10 cm before I started.  I was at 8 cm.  I was feeling tired and started to think an epidural sounded nice.  Better than nice.  Amazing.  Just a break from the pain.  Diedra assured me that meant I would be done soon, and encouraged me that I was doing great.  Somehow I dug deep and kept going.  I knew it would be more trouble than it was worth to quit and get an epidural since I was close to the finish line.

Things started getting even more intense and I was making low humming noises during each contraction, trying to keep my jaw and body loose, and breathing deeply.  Bert read me Psalm 33 again.  Lights were low.  My mom was standing nearby but I couldn't look at anyone.  I scooted around the tub as needed finding myself clinging to one side and then the other.  I started flirting with little pushes and then felt a big pop of pressure.  I said, "what the heck was that?!" and was told that it was my water breaking.  Diedra and Kathleen cheered that it the water was clear which meant good things for the baby's health.  My body started doing some serious pushing, starting from higher in my stomach than I expected, and gradually moving lower.  I was laying/floating on my back with my elbows resting on the indented shelves.  I couldn't stop thinking about how crazy it is that this is the way babies are born, as in they out of you-know-where.  Crazy.  I still think that.  But it works.  Even crazier.

This was the part that I think of when people ask, "how did everything go?"  I think about the part where I was floating on my back and feeling my hips shake with #10 pain as I pushed with all my might to get to the end of this birth.  Kathleen said to me once, "I know this is really intense, but you will need to push through the intensity before you will get to the end."  I was ready for it to end, so I started pushing like it was my job.  Crowning happened.  Then I felt his head go back in.  No!!  I remember imagining his head with dark hair while I was pushing even though before I had guessed he'd be another redhead. Tissues were surrendered to meeting my baby (sigh). Burning! His head emerged and I was surprised by how it took another 2-3 contractions for me to get his body out too.  People say the body is supposed to just slide out afterwards - not true!  I felt like he was huge!  Finally, Kathleen lifted him up and onto my chest. Simon came into the world with a huge hug.  His arms were wrapped around me and he was screaming, mouth open and eyes squinted closed as he turned red.  He had dark hair! And he was out!  This is the moment that is impossible to describe.  So much wonderfulness to hold a slippery, warm, person that I had been holding all along. I already knew him, but now he was really here!



*A note on water-birth.  Babies don't breathe until they hit the air, so they don't swallow any water in the tub.  They live in fluid until they are born, so being born into a tub is really natural feeling for them and not weird at all.  The pressure of the water is also said to help with tearing and pain management for Moms.

Because I had problems with the placenta after Gwen (and after both miscarriages) I was still worried about stage 3 of the labor.  After about ten minutes of holding Simon on my chest in the tub, many hands helped me climb out and onto the nearby hospital bed.  There was a doctor on alert in case things got tricky, and I was given a shot of pitocin in the leg to help with extra hard contractions to get that thing out! My mom stood by my head and was a great comfort to me during this part.  Bert was holding Simon skin-to-skin.  I was scared and overwhelmed by the rush of physical pain and all the emotions of birth that I started crying and shaking.  Thankfully after a couple hard pushes, and tension on the cord from Kathleen, my placenta was delivered whole and safely.  I was so relieved.  I even found the nerve to look at it, even though I'd never seen one before and thought I never would want to.  It was so fascinating!  It was bigger than I expected and I saw the huge vein pattern on it that they called "the tree of life."  God is so smart.  Then came the stitches which were tough because even though there was a numbing shot, I wasn't numb enough.  In the end I only needed 4 stitches which was a vast improvement from Gwen's birth.  The water really helped!

After stitches and a decent try at nursing, I asked the nurses to weigh Simon.  He was 9 lb, 2 oz and 21" long!  I felt so validated that he was a big baby since I had thought he was big when I was carrying him.



In the end, I am really satisfied with how Simon's birth went down.  God was very gracious to give an uncomplicated birth, and even though the pushing was really hard it only lasted about 20 minutes.  I felt so incredibly supported by Kathleen, the nurses, Diedra, my mom, and especially Bert through the whole thing.  I loved that I never felt like anyone else was taking charge, rushing, or bossing me around.  I was given the freedom and trust to birth my baby, and I was amazed to find that my body really knew exactly what to do to get him out.  Even though the pain was present, there was much less stress, fear, and surprise than I experienced in Gwen's birth.  And the pain had so much purpose in bringing me Simon.  I am really thankful that everything went well, and for the precious people who were with me.

Deidra's Notes:

BABY BOY E!
Midwife - Kathleen, Nurse #1 - Cathy, Nurse #2 - Sheila

7:15 pm - arrived at the hospital
8:00 pm - 4 cm, 80% effaced, -1 station. You were glowing. Looked so young & beautiful!
8:15 pm - walked the halls for a half hour.  You still had smile on your face, but contractions quickly became more intense.
8:40 pm - came back to room. Couldn't get comfortable. Tried bed (hands and knees, side-lying), and took three hard contractions on the toilet.  You prefer to MOVE!
9:45 pm - 6 cm, 90% effaced, 0 station YES! you can get in the tub! While waiting for it to fill you enjoyed story hour on the toilet. Stories of Mexico from Bert. "President of the tough club." "You are super woman, but not a warrior!" Feeling more comfortable on ball and resting on Bert's lap.
10:30 pm - you got in the big tub and relaxed instantly
11:15 pm - felt first urge to push.  went to bathroom.
11:30 pm - baby super low. checked in at 8 cm.
12:00 am - contractions just got a lot more intense! Bert read scripture to help you stay focused.
12:27 am - water broke "What the heck was that?"
12:30 am - you started pushing at the peak of each contraction
12:40 am - you really started pushing! "This is crazy!"
1:00 am, 12/5/13 BABY BOY is here!
1:13 am - placenta is out! Praise Jesus!
(You never threw up. You always knew what to do. You dominated!)

Pregnancy Reflections

My pregnancy with Simon was not easy.  It will definitely be on my list of biggest life accomplishments, even though it's not like I got through it alone.  God gave me lots of grace each day and I had the support of amazing family and friends through all the months of difficulty.  The nausea and heartburn persisted till the bitter end.  I remember laying in bed every night telling myself that someday I will feel healthy again (and be able to eat food for taste rather than function).  My hip pain increased a lot in the last months so I had to be very careful about how I moved my body or my legs would slip out of place and wouldn't move without sharp pain.  And the tension in my back was very difficult to relieve since I couldn't lay straight on my back, which is how I prefer to sleep normally.  Everyday began and ended with such intense feelings of heaviness and weariness.  With Simon's pregnancy, even more than with Gwen, there was constant strong pressure UP into my ribs and diaphragm (the muscle that helps you breathe).  I would often have difficulty breathing normally while laying down, and had to fight anxiety from that.  For the last months it often felt like my ribs were bruised on the inside from his strong kicking and pushing.

After experiencing frequent contractions starting around 25 weeks, I hoped that when we got past 36 weeks the baby would come quickly.  We got to the safe zone for labor at the beginning of November and it felt like the baby might come any day.  There are lots of lucky women out there who have babies a few weeks before their due date right?  Alas, the whole month was spent waiting through one day at a time--as all months do.  There were no signs of labor all month. We made the most of the month doing many special things and enjoying the fleeting days of Gwen as our only child.  Some favorite memories from that month are: going to BSF (and getting lots of belly comments), getting my first real massage, buying a van, going to Panera with Mom and Grandma Lee, having a special "blessingway" celebration and prayer time, Thanksgiving at Olson's, never being cold when everyone else in MN was, breakfast at Maria's, Thanksgiving #2 at Beth's house, going to the zoo, getting a Christmas tree, decorating Beth's tree, going to Beth's kindergartner's Christmas concert, and being the biggest belly at every yoga class.

I want to reflect a bit on what life lessons I can pull away from this hard season of pregnancy.  I think one of the things that will stick with me is the long-term feeling of physical weakness and what that did to me spiritually. Some might say 9 months is not very long, but it was the longest I've experienced so far (this I say with thankfulness).  I was helped when we were studying Matthew 5 in BSF... "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."  I felt poor in spirit, in that I always felt my own weakness physically and my spiritual weakness in fighting for joy in the midst of pain.  Jesus calls that feeling blessed! There is a promise of receiving the kingdom of heaven (a place free from pain) and the transfer of hope to what is coming rather than what is now.  There is so much in Matthew about Jesus's care and compassion for people who are physically hurting.  These interactions were jumping off the page in new ways as I struggled with pain too.  Pain is still pain, and it's sweet to see how much Jesus cared for the people who were hurting in various ways.  He looked at them, and touched them, and called them "Daughter."  I hope I remember these things when I look back on my long months of discomfort.

My other takeaway from this pregnancy (and the past two years) has been that thankfulness is survival.  Even when things seem their worst.  Hey! I have a comfortable bed. I have food. I have family. I have mercy from God, even though I rebelled against him. So, so many things. But also, and especially, specific things - and this is where it gets really helpful. Gwen's hair color in the sunlight. The sound of ice inside a glass of water. Warm cement on bare feet at the end of the day. Garlic in olive oil on a hot skillet. So many gifts.  Receiving each and saying thank you to a creative and kind God is so life-giving. "Generous King - you give!"

Even though it was hard, obviously God was doing something amazing.  A new person is here!  Pregnancy hurts and costs a lot physically, but it's completely over now and I have a son.  Though these words sound obvious and cliche to me, they also feel deep and true because I've lived them.  I just want to remember that in many ways this season has been a battle and there are many ways God has given me the grace I needed to survive and to have joy in it.  He has been faithful to his promises!  And through it he's blessed me in unimaginable ways as well.  There has been so much purpose in this pain.

Birth Story Coming Soon!