Thank You Notes with Jimmy Fallon

I don't watch much late night TV, but I have caught Jimmy Fallon's 'Thank You Notes' skit a couple of times and think it's pretty funny.  At the LA airport I came across this book:

After laughing to myself loud enough to have people stare, I decided to buy it.  It reminds me of Jack Handey quotes and I love the randomness!  Some of it is inappropriate humor, but the majority is clean.  We enjoyed it at the Groff cabin and shared some good laughs.

Favorites from the book:

Thank you... guy at my dry cleaners, for charging me $11 to clean a dress shirt.  It clearly doesn't cost that much, but you know I'll pay it anyway because I'm not really sure what you do and how much it should cost.  In fact, I'm 99 percent sure that all you did was iron it and put a plastic sheet over it.

Thank you... flour, for keeping the paper sack container business alive.  Don't want to change your packaging, huh?  Whenever I buy you I feel like I'm Charles Ingalls buying something from Oleson's store on credit.

Thank you... sliders, for tricking me into thinking you're a perfectly appropriate appetizer. Would I like to start my meal with a regular-size hamburger?  Of course not!  But I WILL have six TINY hamburgers because that's totally different.  Thank you.

It helps if you see it done with the music.