During the week when the bleeding started and we expected our Baby would not survive, it was good to have distraction. I was never without loving family and friends being willing to come by, help with Gwen and meals, and talk/cry (Thank you all SO much!). I was amazed to find out that the process of a miscarriage is not a simple one and that the physical symptoms stretch out over weeks, not days. The first few days of the process were definitely the hardest for me, as I knew my baby was still inside and wondered if he/she was in pain or already gone to heaven. My week felt like a mess of appointments, phone calls with midwives and nurses, and swirl of physical pain. The emotional pain didn't really set in until Friday morning when my blood tests were able to confirm that what I was experiencing was in fact a miscarriage. Until then, there were all sorts of tricks I would play in my mind about how everything was going to be ok. The week, though full of pain, was also full of beauty. I was surrounded by reminders of how full my life is and how many mercies I get to hold on to. It still stings to let go of knowing and carrying this Baby, but I am thankful to be able to hug Gwen, my baby who I see daily. What a blessing. With a whole new depth.
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| Love this picture |
The girls of the Wilson, Johnson, and Schiltgen families gathered while the guys were on the annual fishing trip. We ate delicious food and took in the glorious June weather. Gwen played hard. :)
(All these pictures are taken by my mom.)
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| Maybe this is how she skinned the tops of her toes? |
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| Another hero of mine |
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| Gwen's in charge of the hose and loving that |
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| Every few hours she would crash and need refreshments and cuddles |
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| Free standing for a few seconds! |
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| Talking to husb - I missed him lots. He came home early for me. I love him. |
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| Not taking this for granted. |
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