Simon's Birth Story

I awoke at 4:15 am on my due date (12/4/13) with serious contractions coming 7 minutes apart.  I could tell these were more authentic than the random contractions I'd been experiencing the week prior. I started to get nervous about how fast labor might happen since I'd heard from many people that it goes faster the second time.  I envisioned having a baby in my arms by lunch time. Unfortunately, after a few hours contractions had slowed to every 10 minutes instead of getting closer together.  Then a few hours after that they were every 15 minutes, though still very intense when they occurred.  My parents came over to help care for Gwen as I labored, and Bert worked from home on his computer.  I was scurrying around the house packing hospital bags, Gwen's bag, rearranging furniture in our room to accommodate our old recliner and cleaning up any clutter in my path.  After I felt organized enough, I finally laid down to try and rest. I knew that labor would take all my strength and I needed to ration it carefully.

My memories pick back up that evening when I was feeling bummed that things still weren't moving quickly, but tired since I continued to have hard contractions every 10-15 minutes.  It was snowing heavily outside.  My mother in law came and got Gwen for the night so we could focus on labor.  I texted a few friends to ask for prayer that things would continue progressing and decided to try walking on the treadmill.  That did the trick!  My contractions got so intense when I was walking that I had to step to the side and breathe to get through each one.  At this point I had to start to make low humming noises while breathing, which is a pretty clear indicator of labor progressing.  I made myself go for about 30 minutes on the treadmill and went upstairs to eat a bowl of cereal. Contractions had increased to every 3-5 minutes. On my second bite of cheerios I stood up sharply and announced to Bert that it's time to leave for the hospital, now!  The pressure was moving lower and the pain was changing and I did not want to have a baby in the car!  I checked in with the midwife on call and we were on our way.

The ride to the hospital was extremely uncomfortable, and the roads were icy as it continued to snow.  It felt like I shouldn't even be sitting down since the baby's head was so low.  Thankfully we made it to St Joes, parked in the Emergency Room lot, and got taken up to the maternity floor asap.  I was feeling pretty good in between contractions, but during them I had to focus completely to get through.  My parents and our doula, Diedra, arrived soon after us.  I had asked my mom to be in the room with me for the birth, and Dad camped out in the waiting room.  Diedra started taking pictures which was such a sweet surprise since they always enhance memories for me and I didn't know she was planning to do that.  She also took notes on what happened at different times - another great surprise.  (Especially since I'm finally writing this out two months later.)



My contractions continued to be really intense but seemed to be spacing out. During the minutes in between contractions I felt simultaneously impatient for things to progress and thankful for a rest from the pain.  We walked the halls to keep things moving. I found lots of relief in doing low squats as I had practiced in yoga.  It was fun to have Diedra and my mom there to chat and be excited with.  Bert read me scripture to give me something to think about and to help calm my fears.  We spent a lot of time in Psalm 33 and I was meditating on verse 4 which said that "all his work is done in faithfulness." I kept telling myself that God was being faithful even in this crazy and beautiful process of childbirth.  And he was.  I was fighting to believe that truth and asking for peace to receive whatever was coming for this birth experience.

After I ran out of walking strength and ability, I spent time laboring in my hospital room.  Being on my hands and knees was necessary.  Our midwife, Kathleen, challenged me to take three contractions on the toilet which helps your hips open.  It was the last thing I wanted to do.  In fact I think I told her,"no way." But when she told me that would help things move along, I decided to just do it.  I did a lot of soul searching during those minutes in the bathroom.  The door was cracked so I could hear my mom, Diedra and Bert talking, but I felt alone with my thoughts and fears.  I was really afraid of the pushing phase, blood loss, tearing, recovery, all of it.  Gwen's birth was really scary for me at the end and I was afraid of those things happening again.  I was also afraid of the pain.  Because I'd done this before I knew how and why things might hurt.  I had to prayerfully admit these fears and ask God for strength.  I kept telling myself that "it's just pain."  Pain does weird things to my brain, but in the end it just hurts.  A person can certainly survive it.  I kept thinking "if I can do this pregnancy then I can do this birth!"  The pregnancy was much longer and harder than a few more hours of contractions and pushing out a baby.

After moving back into the room, I spent a few minutes admitting my fears to Bert and Diedra and asking them to pray for me.  I remember being really disappointed that things weren't moving quickly as I was expecting them to, and asking them to also pray for patience to withstand the pain for longer than I hoped for.

I was also asking Bert to distract me by telling me specific memories from our Mexico vacation last year.  Anything to keep my brain busy other than panicking about pain.  We discussed fruity drinks by the pool, fountains, palm trees, and the sound of feet squeaking through sand.  He made me laugh when he said that I was "a Superwoman ...but not a warrior mama."  :)  They call you Warrior Mamas all the time at yoga class and it's funny to me so this made me laugh in the moment.  He also called me "president of the tough club" which is another joke because we use the "tough club" to try and get Gwen to stop crying.



At 9:45 my midwife checked me and I had progressed from a 4 to a 6 in a little less than two hours.  I was hoping for a water birth and she said it would be ok for me to get in the tub at this point if I wanted to.  I did!  I remember sitting on the exercise ball and leaning forward onto Bert's lap while waiting for the tub to fill up.  That was one of my more comfortable positions.

We walked down the hall and got in the tub.  The warm water was so helpful in staying relaxed.  I moved around a lot to get my body in the right position. After all that yoga practice, moving felt good and I had ideas about what "hip-openers" would look like to help this baby get out.  Diedra was really encouraging during each contraction saying "you got this!" and "you know just what to do" and "you're doing great" and reminding me to keep my legs wide and relax my legs etc.  She was also keeping me really well hydrated, even though I didn't want to drink anything.  She is very convincing.  I felt really nauseous and was clinging to the blue puking bag because I didn't know when things would come up.  I was sure they would, but they never actually did.  Bert was playing me music on my phone softly almost the whole time but after awhile I didn't like any of the songs playing and think I just asked him to turn it off.



I got out of the tub once to empty my bladder and my whole body started shaking, which made me think I was going through transition.  Kathleen told me I could start pushing whenever I felt the urge to and she didn't need to check me unless I wanted her to.  I decided to ask her to check me anyway because I was so nervous about pushing and it would help to have a clear green light of 10 cm before I started.  I was at 8 cm.  I was feeling tired and started to think an epidural sounded nice.  Better than nice.  Amazing.  Just a break from the pain.  Diedra assured me that meant I would be done soon, and encouraged me that I was doing great.  Somehow I dug deep and kept going.  I knew it would be more trouble than it was worth to quit and get an epidural since I was close to the finish line.

Things started getting even more intense and I was making low humming noises during each contraction, trying to keep my jaw and body loose, and breathing deeply.  Bert read me Psalm 33 again.  Lights were low.  My mom was standing nearby but I couldn't look at anyone.  I scooted around the tub as needed finding myself clinging to one side and then the other.  I started flirting with little pushes and then felt a big pop of pressure.  I said, "what the heck was that?!" and was told that it was my water breaking.  Diedra and Kathleen cheered that it the water was clear which meant good things for the baby's health.  My body started doing some serious pushing, starting from higher in my stomach than I expected, and gradually moving lower.  I was laying/floating on my back with my elbows resting on the indented shelves.  I couldn't stop thinking about how crazy it is that this is the way babies are born, as in they out of you-know-where.  Crazy.  I still think that.  But it works.  Even crazier.

This was the part that I think of when people ask, "how did everything go?"  I think about the part where I was floating on my back and feeling my hips shake with #10 pain as I pushed with all my might to get to the end of this birth.  Kathleen said to me once, "I know this is really intense, but you will need to push through the intensity before you will get to the end."  I was ready for it to end, so I started pushing like it was my job.  Crowning happened.  Then I felt his head go back in.  No!!  I remember imagining his head with dark hair while I was pushing even though before I had guessed he'd be another redhead. Tissues were surrendered to meeting my baby (sigh). Burning! His head emerged and I was surprised by how it took another 2-3 contractions for me to get his body out too.  People say the body is supposed to just slide out afterwards - not true!  I felt like he was huge!  Finally, Kathleen lifted him up and onto my chest. Simon came into the world with a huge hug.  His arms were wrapped around me and he was screaming, mouth open and eyes squinted closed as he turned red.  He had dark hair! And he was out!  This is the moment that is impossible to describe.  So much wonderfulness to hold a slippery, warm, person that I had been holding all along. I already knew him, but now he was really here!



*A note on water-birth.  Babies don't breathe until they hit the air, so they don't swallow any water in the tub.  They live in fluid until they are born, so being born into a tub is really natural feeling for them and not weird at all.  The pressure of the water is also said to help with tearing and pain management for Moms.

Because I had problems with the placenta after Gwen (and after both miscarriages) I was still worried about stage 3 of the labor.  After about ten minutes of holding Simon on my chest in the tub, many hands helped me climb out and onto the nearby hospital bed.  There was a doctor on alert in case things got tricky, and I was given a shot of pitocin in the leg to help with extra hard contractions to get that thing out! My mom stood by my head and was a great comfort to me during this part.  Bert was holding Simon skin-to-skin.  I was scared and overwhelmed by the rush of physical pain and all the emotions of birth that I started crying and shaking.  Thankfully after a couple hard pushes, and tension on the cord from Kathleen, my placenta was delivered whole and safely.  I was so relieved.  I even found the nerve to look at it, even though I'd never seen one before and thought I never would want to.  It was so fascinating!  It was bigger than I expected and I saw the huge vein pattern on it that they called "the tree of life."  God is so smart.  Then came the stitches which were tough because even though there was a numbing shot, I wasn't numb enough.  In the end I only needed 4 stitches which was a vast improvement from Gwen's birth.  The water really helped!

After stitches and a decent try at nursing, I asked the nurses to weigh Simon.  He was 9 lb, 2 oz and 21" long!  I felt so validated that he was a big baby since I had thought he was big when I was carrying him.



In the end, I am really satisfied with how Simon's birth went down.  God was very gracious to give an uncomplicated birth, and even though the pushing was really hard it only lasted about 20 minutes.  I felt so incredibly supported by Kathleen, the nurses, Diedra, my mom, and especially Bert through the whole thing.  I loved that I never felt like anyone else was taking charge, rushing, or bossing me around.  I was given the freedom and trust to birth my baby, and I was amazed to find that my body really knew exactly what to do to get him out.  Even though the pain was present, there was much less stress, fear, and surprise than I experienced in Gwen's birth.  And the pain had so much purpose in bringing me Simon.  I am really thankful that everything went well, and for the precious people who were with me.

Deidra's Notes:

BABY BOY E!
Midwife - Kathleen, Nurse #1 - Cathy, Nurse #2 - Sheila

7:15 pm - arrived at the hospital
8:00 pm - 4 cm, 80% effaced, -1 station. You were glowing. Looked so young & beautiful!
8:15 pm - walked the halls for a half hour.  You still had smile on your face, but contractions quickly became more intense.
8:40 pm - came back to room. Couldn't get comfortable. Tried bed (hands and knees, side-lying), and took three hard contractions on the toilet.  You prefer to MOVE!
9:45 pm - 6 cm, 90% effaced, 0 station YES! you can get in the tub! While waiting for it to fill you enjoyed story hour on the toilet. Stories of Mexico from Bert. "President of the tough club." "You are super woman, but not a warrior!" Feeling more comfortable on ball and resting on Bert's lap.
10:30 pm - you got in the big tub and relaxed instantly
11:15 pm - felt first urge to push.  went to bathroom.
11:30 pm - baby super low. checked in at 8 cm.
12:00 am - contractions just got a lot more intense! Bert read scripture to help you stay focused.
12:27 am - water broke "What the heck was that?"
12:30 am - you started pushing at the peak of each contraction
12:40 am - you really started pushing! "This is crazy!"
1:00 am, 12/5/13 BABY BOY is here!
1:13 am - placenta is out! Praise Jesus!
(You never threw up. You always knew what to do. You dominated!)